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Lets Hit the Fast Forward Button and…..Fly to Las Vegas Baby!!

14 Jan
Vegas Weeeee're Coming! Photo credit Vegas Means Business.

Vegas Weeeee’re Coming! Photo credit Vegas Means Business.

The Daily Prompt Post from WordPress pops up on my reader each day. I usually glance at it and give it a quick skim; not usually drawn to follow through and blog on its chosen topic.

However, the Daily Prompt on Saturday January 11th 2014, caught my eye more keenly than usual. The Prompt read:

If you could fast forward to a specific date in the future, when would it be?”

Having said that I am finding a new found happiness in being in the moment in my New Year resolutions post, looking forward to a future date may seem contradictory. Perhaps it is. And perhaps the fact I was drawn in by this Daily Prompt rather than any other, goes to show that my presence in the moment is still a work in progress.

Perhaps. But I prefer to say that although I have specific dates that I am looking forward to, I am still very happy and aware of the present moment; of me sat typing this post in front of my light box, with the cool winter air slipping in through the open window and the low winter sun shining, casting bright patches of light onto our apartment’s white walls. I don’t think it’s an oxymoron to both be happy in the moment and to be looking forward to a specific date.

And looking forward to a specific date is my interpretation of being able to ‘fast forward to a specific date in the future’. For me fast forwarding would always be to something I was looking forward to. Tho I guess for some you may want to fast forward to a date that you’re dreading just to get it over with. I remember saying more than once during University exams, ‘I just want it to done and over now’.

So, back to the Prompt itself: to what specific date in the future do I want to fast forward?

Well, my answer to this question is April 12th 2014.


Because on that day Mr B and I will board a flight at London Gatwick bound for Las Vegas Baby!! And our trip doesn’t stop there, oh no. Vegas is very much the starting point, and really only a resting point – warm weather, luxury hotel suite perfect for some post flight TLC. From there we are going on a little, a three week, road trip! We are going to Death Valley, Big Sur Pacific Coast (where some how Mr B has convinced me to stay in a, albeit lovely ocean view, yurt…), Yosemite Park and San Francisco. And then we will fly up to Seattle for a few days in the city and some time out in the Olympic Park on the North West Peninsula. I will turn 30 whilst we are in Seattle. I think Seattle will be the perfect place to celebrate such a milestone of a birthday!

And then Mr B and I will part ways as he will sadly have to fly home to return to work and I will fly to Philly to visit my sister for two weeks! To say I am excited about this trip would be a small, HUGE GIGANTIC understatement! To be honest I have to keep pinching myself to know it’s happening and that it isn’t a dream from which I’ll wake up and find myself back on the sofa huddled in pain with crippling fatigue. This trip is only possible because I’m doing so much better. This trip will see me in a very different state from that which I went to Philly in last March. Only now when I look back to that time, and many other very dark moments during the last 3 years, do I see clearly just how poorly I was when I was doing ME/CFS. I am grateful every minute of every single day that I am doing so much better now thanks to the Lightning Process. And our American road trip is mine and Mr B’s way of celebrating my progress and having a wonderful exciting holiday which personally I think we both deserve after all the pain, worry and heartache of the last three years.

So 12 April 2014 will be a very special day and to which I wish I could fast forward – though I am also very glad I’ve got the time between now and then to continue recovering and building strength and stamina. I need that.

We are not setting off on this trip lightly nor blindly. We are fully aware that, as I said in my last post, I am not totally better. My health is fragile and I have to keep nurturing myself and using the Lightning Process. Lots of thought and planning has gone into our holiday, with lots more to come I’m sure. We are not visiting as many places as we had originally thought about in order to slow down the pace of the holiday and travel. We have factored in rest days where I can recuperate if I need or bask in feeling good having a lazy old time if not. We are flying up to Seattle from San Francisco rather than driving up the coast as had been our original plan, again to avoid over exerting or exhausting me. We are staying in self catering cottages and apartments or at least hotels with in room refrigerators  at each place so that I can control my diet more easily.

The Lightning Process is my biggest friend and ally for this trip, as it is each and every day. I have already begun using the Process on my fears about the holiday triggering a relapse and the feeling of guilt that I shouldn’t be going away. Through using the Process I am creating a bank of happy positive memories of myself in America on our trip doing wellness, great energy, joy and happiness. I can do it and I will do it. That has always been my motto throughout my journey with ME/CFS and it is just the same now. In fact it is even easier now because now I have tools to really help me do it, namely the Lightning Process.

When I pondered the Daily Prompt question further I thought of some more answers; answers which are less specific in terms of a precise date and instead that are of a higher plane perhaps than the date I  go on holiday, albeit a dream, celebration of life holiday, but a holiday nonetheless.

What are these other dates / times in the future, to which I’d like  LOVE to fast forward?

Here you have them:

A time when a cure for ME/CFS and POTS has been found, and if that’s not possible, at least a time when ME/CFS and POTS received their fair share of resources for medical research; or at least to a time when ME/CFS is taken seriously by ALL of the medical establishment and ALL of the population at large; a time when comments such as ‘it’s all in your head’ or ‘oh that’s that yuppie flu thing’ were seen as blasphemous. I wish I could fast forward to a time when I and all of my fellow spoonie friends were cured and well again.

As that is all sadly out of my control and seemingly some distance off, I will focus purely on what is in my control – planning and preparing for 12th April 2014, a date to which I am so very much looking forward.

Now over to you: “If you could fast forward to a specific date in the future, when would it be?”

And if you have any suggestions and recommendations for places for me and Mr B to visit on our travels, please let me know 🙂

Good Bye Philadelphia, thank you for an awesome time!

6 May
Time to fly home. Photo by Jess B.

Time to fly home. Photo by Jess B.

It’s time for Mr B and I to leave my sister and Philly and to take to the skies and fly home.

View from the plane window. Photo by Jess B.

View from the plane window. Photo by Jess B.

I’ve been in Philly since late March. Time has flown by though I also feel like I’ve always been here. Being at home seems a very long time ago. I’ve had an amazing six weeks and have so many happy memories to take home – Centre City loft living, Reading Terminal Market, so many delicious brunches and  far too many gluten free goodies, a very happy 29th birthday, Outlet shopping and West Philly University neighbourhood life to name just a few.

I’m really sad that it’s time to leave but I think I am ready to be at home again and to take things quietly and slowly, just following my paced routine.

There have been some ups and downs with my ME / CFS during this trip. It was to be expected as I have done more than I do when I am at home and just living my paced routine. This trip was always about ‘living’ rather than holidaying. I never planned to sight-see or rush about. I have tried to plan and pace myself and to intersperse outings and activities with rest days. Despite this I have done more than when I’m at home. I am more tired than ‘my usual’ and I do have more ME /CFS symptoms – more myalgia, more sore throats and more fatigue as I say. So it’s time to go home and rest now.

Photo from the plane window by Jess B.

Photo from the plane window by Jess B.

We fly home overnight tonight. I am hoping that by taking Melatonin as I board the plane this evening I will sleep for much of the 8 hour flight. Here’s hoping anyway! I hope that way I won’t be so sleep deprived tomorrow and my ME / CFS may not spike and flare up as much as I fear. I definitely suffered ME / CFS side effects from the outbound flight and I fear the return flight, being overnight and all, will be worse. I am doing lots of STOPs on my anxieties about what the flight, travel, jet lag etc will do to my ME / CFS. I’m going to try and take it one step at a time.

My Mum is going to be waiting for me and Mr B when we arrive back at our apartment in East London tomorrow morning. She will be the Super Mum that she always is and look after me while I let my body rest and recover. Mr B has to go straight to work tomorrow morning…a lot of extra shot macchiatos will be consumed I think! And then we go from there.

I’m not sure I will be up to blogging in the next few days or perhaps for a while longer. It will totally depend how long it takes my ME / CFS addled body to recover. I have not been super organised and prepared posts in advance like I did when I flew out here – this in itself is a big step for me. It is me being a little more chilled and less perfectionist and obsessive which are all common ME / CFS traits. It may only be a very small battle won in the overall war against ME / CFS but it is a battle won and that in itself is progress worth celebrating or noticing at least.

What I’m trying to say is there may be a little hiatus, a little pause or break – call it what you want – in my posts on this blog, but I will be back. In the words of Arnie – I WILLLLLL BE BACK!

So in the meantime, take care of yourselves and I’ll speak to you all soon 🙂

It’s now time to take to the skies. Good bye Philly, you’ve been awesome, I’ve had the time of my life.

FLying home. Photo by Jess B.

Flying home. Photo by Jess B.

Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to Me….

2 May
Image source unknown via Pinterest.

Image source Joanna M Bromley via Pinterest.

Happy Birthday dear Jeeeeessss, Happy Birthday to Me!!

I turn 29 today. I’m still in Philadelphia so I get to spend the day and celebrate with my sister Lou and Mr B. We are going to take it easy and have a relaxed day so I pace myself and don’t over do it. Mr B has treated me to two nights in a gorgeous spa suite at a downtown Philly hotel for my birthday so I’m in the perfect place to relax. Lou is going to come over at lunchtime and we are going to have a picnic lunch in the close by Rittenhouse Square (or in our suite if the weather turns). I will then rest for a few hours before we go to Alma de Cuba for an early dinner and maybe a cheeky cocktail or two!

And no birthday (of mine at least) is complete without cake!

Image source

Image source

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