Positive Changes – I’m Lovin’ It!

5 Dec

For the last few weeks I’ve taken a little break from blogging. Partly this was because I wanted to spend my time focusing on using all the tools I learnt on the Lightning Process Recovery Course. But partly it was also because I was feeling a little ambivalent, a little strange, about blogging.

You see I started writing this blog nearly a year ago at a time when I was very much fully immersed in the world of ME/CFS; at a time when I was severely ‘doing’ chronic illness without any apparent solution. So for me this blog is intrinsically linked to being ill and to a time in my life that in many ways I’d rather forget and move as far a way from as possible now that I am doing much better. In the early days of using the Lightning Process at least, it is advised to stay away from any negative triggers; by which I mean any activities, habits, routines and emotions that are associated with being ill for you – hence my need to put a little distance between myself and blogging.

However, now 46 days into my journey with the Lightning Process which is proving very much to be the key to unlocking my journey thru, and Β most importantly out of, ME/CFS, I am much stronger and my health much more stable. And I can see clearly the good for the bad amongst my experience of being chronically ill. I can see that there are positive, life enhancing, joyful practices that I love and only came to during, and thanks to, my time doing chronically ill with ME/CFS. Chronic illness is a very wise teacher and overflowing with wisdom if we can just pause and acknowledge the silver lining. And I very much want to pull these positive practices through and into my life now, a life in which I am moving ever closer to doing wellness, and ever further away from ME/CFS. Take yoga, I love yoga. I am still practising daily and can not imagine not practising. I am slowly building up the duration and the intensity of my practice. And lets not forget meditation. And relaxation. And blogging. All of these activities I love and want to continue in my life. A life I love for me just wouldn’t be complete without them. And so I return happily and full of smiles to the blogging world.

I will in future posts try and explain my experience of the Lightning Process in more detail, but for today, I just want to share some of the positive changes I have achieved in the 40 odd days since I managed to break thru my ME/CFS. I have enjoyed many many positive changes, both big and small, physical and emotional. But for now here a few of my highlights:

  • Cooking – I have done some form of cooking every day. I am loving it. Β To begin with I baked a lot, but am taking a little break from that so that my waist line recovers before the Christmas eating show down begins. Even dairy, gluten, egg and refined sugar free baking can pack on the pounds when you have a cake and cookie habit like mine (who can honestly eat just one cookie and walk away?!) I had a moment a few weeks ago where I was stood at our hob stirring a white sauce for the chicken and mushroom pie I was making. I was stood up stirring. This was after I had stood and chopped up veggies for the pie filling and peeled lots of potatoes for the pie topping. This was also the day immediately after the night before when I had also cooked dinner and had it on the table when Mr B walked in the door. I stood there grinning to myself as I stirred the sauce. I was so happy, so full of joy and sheer relief I guess. I had wanted to be able to cook properly (not just taking food out of the freezer and reheating) for so long. It was one of the things I missed most during ME/CFS. And now I can do it again! Last night when Mr B walked in the table was laid, drinks had been poured and I was dishing up pesto crusted salmon, rice and steamed veggies – Mr B is definitely happy I’m doing more energy these days!
  • Driving – this has come as a major surprise to me, Mr B and all my family. I had driven very occasionally during the 3 years of doing ME/CFS. I was just too fatigued and in too much pain to attempt something that required so much muscle action and concentration. As I started doing better with the Lightning Process I very quickly felt the urge to drive. This was a big deal for me. I grew up and have driven most in rural Lincolnshire; which is very different to driving in London where we live now. Mr B took me out for a few ‘lessons’ to refresh me. But I was amazed at how calm and confident I felt driving. I am still amazed by this! I now actively seek out opportunities to drive even collecting Mr B the other night from his football game which involved me dealing with rush hour traffic in the dark. Driving = freedom and = recovery to me. And I am loving it!
  • Socialising – just under a fortnight from when I started the Lightning Process course I went shopping and out for lunch with my close friend, H. We went to the big shopping centre round the corner from where we live. We wandered around a few shops, bought far too many clothes, had a manicure and had a wonderful lunch at Jamie’s Italian. It was such a nice day. It was amazing to actually walk around a clothes shop on my own two feet, carrying my own bag, being able to browse exactly how I wanted. I felt so normal. I loved it. H commented that I used to turn an odd green colour when I was fatigued and needed to rest. That day shopping, there wasn’t a shade of green to be seen on my face, just on the clothes’ racks!
  • Shopping (again….doing better energy is great for morale and wellness but proving less beneficial to my bank balance!) – a couple of weeks ago my Mum and Dad came to visit. On their last day we went shopping and out for lunch. Their train was at 6pm so I dropped them at the station and then drove to our local supermarket. This involved me driving in the busy London Friday night rush hour. I did calm throughout. Once at the supermarket I pushed my trolley around with a grin on my face like some crazy person. It might sound so simple ‘you drove to a supermarket and did some food shopping, no big deal, so what, I do that every week’. But ME/CFS robs you of the ability to do this kind of thing; it robs you of the simple things that healthy people take for granted. When you’re doing ME/CFS you tend (or at least I did) to avoid wasting your precious energy on basic things like food shopping (I always did it online) saving your energy for more interesting and life enhancing activities. Or you simply don’t have the energy to do such an activity. So it felt utterly wonderful to push that trolley, do the food shopping and drive home and unpack the shopping.
  • This coming weekend Mr B and I are going to Lille in northern France on Eurostar. We’re going to visit the Christmas markets, do some (more…) shopping and generally have a wonderful, happy and relaxing time, staying in a luxury spa hotel to celebrate my new found and ever improving energy and health πŸ™‚

I could go on and on about the positive changes I am experiencing. But I’ll leave it at that for today. Suffice it say I’ve had so many happy moments where I’ve caught myself grinning to myself, utterly joyful and happy that I’m actually doing this now. It is real! I’m doing well!

This is life and life is nothing but reality. And reality tends to pack a bit of a punch as well as showering us in good stuff. My journey with the Lightning Process has not all been plain sailing by any means and I will share the bumps in posts to come. I am also very much still on this journey, taking each day one step at a time and have much more to continue working on. That’s the great thing about the Lightning Process, you can take it as far as you want. Getting control of my physical ME/CFS symptoms such as fatigue, headaches and myalgia is just the first step for me. Now I am exploring and working on more emotional patterns (such as perfectionism, guilt, lack of self esteem etc etc) that have contributed to me pushing myself too hard too much and keeping me in the ME/CFS rut. I will get to all this in time both in resolving and sharing on my blog. But for now please revel in the positive changes I am seeing. I am so happy at the progress I have made and so incredibly excited about what is still to come.

P.S one further postive change to add: writing this post doing alert and energised, without stressing ‘will it make me tired’, having to curtail my creative juices by using that dreaded timer and pacing is just PRICELESS πŸ™‚


36 Responses to “Positive Changes – I’m Lovin’ It!”

  1. triciaruth December 5, 2013 at 8:54 am #

    I’d be interested to find out more about the lightening process, I have heard vague stories of it before and tried to find out more about it on their website but always found the destctiptions of what it involves to be very vague and wishy-washy – definitely not enough to make me want to spend a big chunk of money on it; so I look forward to hearing more and comparing it to the techniques I have utilised.
    Glad you are feeling so much better and welcome back!!

    • myjourneythrume December 16, 2013 at 11:15 am #

      Thanks Tricia. I will in time explain more of how I’m using the LP and what it involves, I just seem to have much time at the moment! I totally understand not wanting to spend a load of money on an approach when you’re not totally sure about it. The LP books are an affordable way of getting an insight into the approach, Get The Life You Love Now is an abridged step by step version of the LP seminar course that I did. It’s a really good read. And The Introduction to the LP explains all the science and background to the process. Both books by Phil Parker and on Amazon. It was reading the Intro book’s case studies and hearing others’ experiences of the LP via twitter that made me want to do the course.

  2. nicolanoo December 5, 2013 at 9:42 am #

    Reading this post brought a big grin to my face. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Long may it continue. Enjoy Lille!

    • myjourneythrume December 16, 2013 at 11:15 am #

      Reading your comment brought a big grin to my face! thank you for such a lovely comment.

  3. averyfranksenior December 5, 2013 at 10:09 am #

    Great news. And great title for the post! Long may it all continue.

  4. currankentucky December 5, 2013 at 10:18 am #

    Whooooohoooooo!!!!! We all have our paths to follow, so glad you are firmly on yours… whooooooohoooooooooooo!!! xx

    • myjourneythrume December 16, 2013 at 11:16 am #

      Thanks Marie! Your comment made me smile so much! I hope you’re having a good day xx

  5. dawnhosking December 5, 2013 at 10:37 am #

    It’s really interesting to follow your journey with this technique — I look forward to reading your future updates, I wish you the best of luck πŸ˜‰ xx

    • myjourneythrume December 16, 2013 at 11:17 am #

      Thank you Dawn. I will post more about the technique and how I’m using it to help progress in the new year with Christmas fast approaching I don’t seem to have a lot of spare time to blog! I hope you’re doing well xx

  6. Just Another F-Bomb December 5, 2013 at 11:16 am #

    Best of luck to you, sounds as though you are on a good path! πŸ™‚

  7. thehomeschoolingdoctor December 5, 2013 at 1:25 pm #

    So happy for you, Jess! Could you please express send me some pesto salmon with steamed veggies? (I would have used to have preferred the baked goods you were baking up…but I don’t feel good after them so much–think it’s the extra sweet…but that main meal is making me so very, very hungry! I can’t even tell you!)

    I looked up the lightning process. Very interesting. Sounds like some do so well with it and others not so much. Makes you wonder what’s physiologically different between the ME cases that allows some to recover and not others. And how does the lightning process work on a physiological/biochemical level? Would it be similar to the biofeedback–just coming at it with a different slant? Just thinking “out loud.”

    Glad you are seeing light!

    • myjourneythrume December 16, 2013 at 11:26 am #

      Gosh me too, such a relief to finally be having consistent progress.

      Pesto salmon and veggies all packed and ready to fly over to you!

      I think you’re right that the LP is similar in its effects to biofeedback, both approaches calm the nervous system and work on a neurological level to undercut and unroot the physiological symptoms.

      There may be physiological differences between ME cases that explain why the approach doesn’t always work but I think it also has a lot to do with the application of the LP too. It is tedious to keep having to do the process so I think a lot of people aren’t consistent in their application of it which doesn’t render the results they want which then discourages from using the process further, and it all spirals from there. That’s just one theory from my own thinking out loud! I also think that you have to be ‘ready’ and self aware enough and in the ‘right’ place of mind for the LP to be effective. I’ve done other similar NLP courses in the past which had an initial effect but not as far reaching or as consistent as the LP by a long way. And partly I think my lack of success with those techniques may have been that I was still too blind to the issues etc. And also that those techniques weren’t as well rounded as the LP. I plan to do a post on this in the near future.

      This has become an essay I’ll stop! I hope Christmas magic and cheer is in full swing in your house, hope you have a lovely holiday season.

      • thehomeschoolingdoctor December 16, 2013 at 12:42 pm #

        Thank you for the wishes! Yes, Christmas magic is in the water here!

        I look forward to your post when you decide the time is right to move with it. Would like to understand better what kind of LPs there are besides the one you went to most recently. Are they all branches of the one you went to? Or different people who arrived at the same conclusion? Or same people but different “teacher”? But I don’t need to know today. πŸ™‚ Just I’d love to read about that in one of your posts.

        Christmas Love upon you and your family!

      • myjourneythrume December 17, 2013 at 1:38 pm #

        There are loads of LP practitioners around the world and to legally take the title of LP practitioner you have to go through extensive training with Phil Parker, the founder of the LP. Then you can train people like me to learn the LP for health / wellness / well being means. So there’s only one true LP. In my experience there are other NLP courses that are similar to the LP but not the whole or real deal. The previous two courses I did were along these lines. Does that make sense?

        Thank you for the Christmas Love! Our tree was delivered this morning, I’m impatiently waiting for it to dry so I can get decorating it!

  8. cttbbelliott December 5, 2013 at 3:53 pm #

    This is such awesome news chicklet. I am so happy for you. I am actually doing much better these days too. Birds of a feather, flock together. Ever hear that one? We are birds of the same feather….lol What you have been doing sounds terrific. I was away from WP for awhile too and when I got back on I wondered what had happened to you. I missed your connection with me. I cannot tell you how much you inspired me with this news. I am going to bake some chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies too. Alan will be pleased when he gets home.

    I started writing my second novel and am up to 75 pages at 24,000 words. A good start already. And I have been super busy getting my novel out to many establishments that are selling it. In my book, two of my characters are underground in Lille, France during the war where the local newspaper is still printed during the war under secret circumstances. You can find my book on Amazon, U.K. and I am sure you would enjoy it. How old are you now? Aren’t your kids grown up now? I am sooooo happy for you and husband, too, enjoying this quality time together. Baking, cooking, going shopping and out to lunch with a friend….awesome news. Sending you great big hugs and a prayer for continued good health dear friend. I, too, am no longer involved with any of the ME/CFS stuff online cuz I found it was actually keeping me in that place of helplessness. I am indulging in lots of marketing of the novel and writing the new one. Got to get Christmas decorations up soon too. Life if great! Sending hugs……BBE

    • myjourneythrume December 16, 2013 at 11:30 am #

      Thank you for such a lovely comment. It made me smile to read it so much. I hope your hubby enjoyed the cookies! I am so happy to hear you’re doing well too. That is fantastic to hear. We are definitely birds of the same feather – there’s a sitcom here called Birds of Feather, very funny, hadn’t made the connection with the title to the friendship in the show until now!

      I will definitely look up your novel on Amazon. Your second sounds fab. Lille is such a nice city, a great mix of old and new and a great setting for your novel. Have you had to do a lot of research on the town?

      I’m thinking about writing a novel too, have a few ideas floating round in my head, not least a fictional story of my experience with ME but at the moment the experience is all a bit raw to focus on I think.

      I wish you and your family a very merry Christmas and I look forward to keeping in touch in the new year. Jess.

      • cttbbelliott December 16, 2013 at 2:51 pm #

        Just sent you a return message but it popped off the page and I don’t know if you got it or not. But, Merry Christmas to you over there across the mighty Atlantic. My paternal grandfather was a full blooded Brit……maybe we share blood. lol

      • myjourneythrume December 17, 2013 at 1:38 pm #

        Maybe we are! That would be cool!

        Merry Christmas to you πŸ™‚

      • cttbbelliott December 17, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

        Please tell me a little bit about this lightening process? If it actually cures, as is what’s happened to you and others, I may consider it myself. And the cost? Merry Christmas to you too dear. Sisters in Christ! Brenda

  9. Lauren December 5, 2013 at 4:07 pm #

    Wow, only recently discovered your blog and it sounds like I’ve come in at an exciting time! So good to read about the progress you’re making. I know two people who’ve done the Lightning Process for ME and both have made amazing recoveries. Thinking of doing it myself for an autoimmune disease so will look forward to hearing more about your experiences πŸ™‚

    • myjourneythrume December 17, 2013 at 1:15 pm #

      Hi Lauren, welcome to my blog! Thank you for reading and commenting.It was through hearing of others’ sucess with the LP that helped me to decide to do it. I will share lots about my experience in the new year, Christmas seems to be very busy all of a sudden! πŸ™‚

  10. Jackie December 5, 2013 at 4:28 pm #

    Yayy!!!! 😊 Go Jess!!

  11. hayley-eszti December 6, 2013 at 6:08 pm #

    So pleased you are doing so well, that is an impressive list of activities you have been doing! Look forward to reading more about your lightning experience.
    PS – You really like shopping huh! Enjoy the xmas markets, sounds lovely!

    • myjourneythrume December 17, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

      I think it’s the novelty of being able to wander round a shop that I love! So much better than being at the mercy of my other half pushing me! I hope you’re doing well. I loved your snowy post about your trip out, I hope you are all recovered now.

  12. Donna December 8, 2013 at 9:28 am #

    I am so chuffed for you that you are beating your ME and doing all these wonderful things. The Lightening Process sounds intriguing. I looked into it but at the moment it is out with my finances. However, I have been approached by someone to take part in a case study with them using the Chrysalis Effect. I wonder if there are similarities? Either way I am grabbing the opportunity with both hands. I look forward to reading more about your experiences with the Lightening Process.

    • myjourneythrume December 17, 2013 at 1:19 pm #

      I haven’t heard of the Chrysalis Effect, sounds interesting what does it involve? Definitely take any opportunity that comes your away. Good luck with it and look forward to hearing how you get on.

  13. Ami Hallgarth December 9, 2013 at 1:57 pm #

    what great news! So pleased that you’ve found something that is bringing about such brilliant benefits – keep up the good work! x

  14. dandeliondance December 16, 2013 at 6:36 pm #

    Don’t think this is strange, but… I went to bed last night and randomly thought, “I wonder how that “my journey thru” woman is doing.” It just popped into my head. As I am reading your words today I am feeling AWE and AMAZEMENT. It is really awesome to hear some positive changes. I hope and pray that this will be your road to true and total recovery. I have always identified with what you share on your blog and I have to say that it gives me a bit of optimism towards my own situation, though I know we are dealing with different sets of challenges. Go Jess! Please keep us informed, but ONLY when it is a GOOD THING for your wellness. πŸ™‚

    • myjourneythrume December 17, 2013 at 1:42 pm #

      It’s not strange it’s lovely. It made me smile to think of you thinking of me! Thank you for your hopes and prayers, I am doing the same and keeping fingers and toes crossed the road continues in this way. I believe it will. It was through hearing of others’ experiences of the LP via twitter and other blogs (as well as in the LP books) that gave me optimism and sufficient belief to do the LP course so I totally relate to what you say. I will definitely keep you informed in the new year with updates. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and keep believing you can and will find a solution that works for you.

  15. Michelle January 12, 2014 at 12:06 pm #

    “Chronic illness is a very wise teacher and overflowing with wisdom if we can just pause and acknowledge the silver lining.” what a very philosophical statement! I’m glad you took time for you and that you are doing well with the lightning process. its interesting to read about.

    • myjourneythrume January 31, 2014 at 9:53 am #

      I didn’t mean to be philosophical at all! I’m quite impressed with myself for managing it!! Glad you find it interesting to read about, hope you are doing well.


  1. My Journey Thru M.E. Part 3: 2013 Turning the Corner | my journey thru M.E. - December 5, 2014

    […] to progress and gain strength and energy week by week.Β  Enjoyed learning to live again and having new β€˜first times’: driving, cooking dinner, doing the food shopping, walking for longer. Began to be kinder to […]

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