French Lavender. Photo by Jess B.
I always find that in the middle of a flare of ME/CFS symptoms, my sleep pattern falls apart.
Each night I take a melatonin before bed and I’m usually dead to the world by 10pm. I might wake once or twice momentarily in the night but basically I sleep through until 7 / 7:30 am.
In the midst of a flare, when I need sleep and rest even more than usual, yes of course my sleep falls part. Awesome. Great. Thank you so much ME/CFS.
Take last night for example, I took melatonin at 8.45 pm as per usual. I was feeling really fatigued and sleepy so I thought I’d drop off instantly. But no. 10.30 pm still wide awake. 11 pm yep wide awake, 11.30 pm, yep you guessed it wide awake. I think I finally fell asleep at around 12.
Just to add insult to injury I woke up at 3 am (thanks to a rather noisy drunken Mr B, thank you Babe), normally I would roll over and be back in the land of nod, but no, I didn’t go back to sleep after 3. I have been awake ever since. I did everything I could possibly think off to fall asleep, meditations, yoga nidras, diaphragmatic breathing, read etc. In the end about 5.30 am I got up and laid on the sofa thinking a change of scenery might help, but no. Still WIDE awake.
So yes, it is now 7 am and I have been awake for 4 hours already. It is going to be a looooooooong day.
So I don’t grumble on at you any more about my lack of sleep, here are some more pics of my recent holiday to France, reminding us all to smile. It makes everything better, even sleep deprivation is made better with a smile 🙂
Hiding in the vines. Photo by Jess B.
About to be baked in the Bread Oven! *Nobody was harmed in the taking of this photo*! Photo by Jess B.
Our French Home From Home. Photo by Jess B.
Holidaying is Hard Work! photo by Jess B.
Our neighbours, a herd of goats. Photo by Jess B.
Last but not least, in the tomatoes. Photo by Jess B.
my journey thru M.E. 
I love the fact that you brought your smiley face with you on your trip! That certainly made me smile ^_^
Thanks! Glad it made you smile. As odd as it is to be a 29 year old woman taking a stuffed yellow smiley face on holiday with me, I got some great photos and it’s always a reminder to relax and smile 🙂
I feel your pain and tossing with the whole ME wont sleep gig. There have been nights where im on the couch with classical music on, sipping on soda water, begging the heavens to whack me across the head and zonk me out. It is cruel. And of course my body is aching to sleep but my brain has decided, no, lets party… meditation, stretching, yoga, breathing, like you ive tried it all. I got so desperate on a few occasions I actually toasted the sky with my soda water laughing saying “bring it on, you wont break me”. There was just nothing else to do. Of course sharing this with my doctor led to some raised eyebrowing but I had to laugh and smile. When the going gets tough… only one thing to do… break out in a smile and if the pain isnt too bad a good hearty laugh! I hope today wont be too bad a day after the bad night and here is hoping tonight you will dash off into peaceful slumber.
I think I may start toasting the sky and see if that helps too! As you say nothing else seems effective. I am pleased to report that I slept infinitely better last night tho oddly I actually feel worse today than I did yesterday. Oh the joys of this mysterious illness.
Stop the lights!!! I pity researches trying to figure it all out. Glad to hear you got sleep, I often find it takes two days for her to peak after a bad day/night, she is one strange being! Last night was bad for me and today is a slippery slide! Here’s hoping i wont be toasting any skies tonight and sleep falls into my lap!
Reblogged this on COURAGE TIMES THREE and commented:
Jess can always tell the truth about M.E./CFS which helps to understand daily struggles and releases.
((hugs)) My life is over when I don’t get enough sleep. We’re already fatigued, taking away even 20 minutes of that precious time is just cruel!
Thank you, hugs happily received 🙂 cruel is the right word.
I love your Mr Smiley photos, they have made me feel happy! I hope you can get your sleeping pattern back to some kind of normality soon x Hayley-Eszti
Thank you and I’m so glad you like the photos and they make you happy. That’s such a nice thing to hear 😀 Jx
Liked the goat neighbors! Sorry about the sleep. Hope it comes back!
Me too! Other than being a bit smelly the goats were great! It’s true that they literally will eat anything.
Pretty much all i ever want to talk about is my sleep. The other night, I had the best night sleep since.. Years! Even before I was sick… Even better than i posted about on my blog! And it was the best day I’ve had since before Easter. I KNOW sleep holds the key to my leading a more normal life! But, of course, sleep has disappeared again, so, tonight, I will be thinking of you other side of the ocean, hoping you slept deeply (and, Marie, I will be toasting the sky, saying, “bring it on” 😀
Why is sleep so damn elusive?! I did sleep better last night thank God but today weirdly feel worse than yesterday. I’m sending happy sleep vibes across the Atlantic, hoping that you sleep well tonight. I love that we are all laying there toasting the sky, great idea Marie, I am doing it too 🙂
I love these photos! I think my favorite is the bread oven, but they’re all so cheery. I hope that your sleep patterns get back to normal. Not being able to sleep while feeling exhausted is so frustrating. 😦
It is so frustrating Molly! But there are worse things in life so I shouldn’t complain too much. I’m glad you like the photos, that’s really nice to hear 🙂